It’s a strange world we live in, and all you have to do to figure that out is realize that Beverly Hills Chihuahua actually claimed the number one spot at the box office the week it debuted online. Forget for a second the hundreds of assholes that showed up to watch a full movie with talking Mexican stereotypes, and just think about the concept of making a movie with talking animals. Why would you watch a movie with talking animals? Because the story you’re telling has been done to death in so many other films that you decide to recycle a stale plot and make it fresh by getting celebrities to voice a bunch of dogs. Kids love dogs. Basically everyone you don’t like loves dogs and wants to watch them talk free.
Of course, no one stops to ask themselves what dogs would actually say if they could talk. It certainly wouldn’t be some cheap moralistic love story about learning to accept people from other cultures and classes.
Now obviously, this isn’t the type of movie that most parents would take their kids to, because having kids inherently turns you into a prudish human that lives under the assumption that children can be protected from harsh words. Instead they get to take their kids to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua… the tale of a stuck up Chihuahua that gets separated from her spoiled, racist, and completely worthless owner while in Mexico. After navigating the streets avoiding nefarious Mexican stereotypes (supposedly acceptable because these stereotypes are applied to dogs instead of human actors), the chihuahua’s blue-collar landscaper Chihuahua love interest comes to rescue her, despite the fact that she wouldn’t give him the time of day when she was lounging around the pool. As you can guess, everything turns out alright.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua is about as good as any film with the word “Beverly Hills” in the title…think Troop Beverly Hills, Beverly Hills Ninja, and Beverly Hills Cop. Yeah… that means nothing for anyone that uses more than 1% of their brain on a day to day basis. Families will eat this up, but families are the bane of the intelligent man or woman’s existence.
I’m going to end this review now… I didn’t think that I would have that much to say about this film. I’m impressed with myself. You may notice that there’s not much analysis going on in this review, but honestly, if you’re looking for a review of this movie, you should take yourself to a park, line a slide with 40 grit sandpaper, and slide down it naked and on your stomach. Seriously, this is number one at the box office… and we wonder why this country is experiencing financial and energy crises.
It’s called Beverly Hills Chihuahua… and it’s full of talking dogs. I recommend you to watch it online for free.
When dogs talk, they have the accents of the place they live in. Stephen Hawking’s dog sounds like a robot.
Can we euthanize all Chihuahuas? Is there a more worthless dog?